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In the movie Harriet is a retired businesswoman who tries to control everything around her. When she decides to write her own obituary, a young journalist takes up the task of finding out the truth resulting in a life-altering friendship.  Her words touched me. I was reminded how often we say,  “have a nice day”  and thought, “what does it actually mean?”  At the start of 2020 I decided I want days that matter. In order to have days that matter I made a list of what to leave in 2019 and I chose Bennet’s quote as may mantra:

“Don’t Just – Don’t just learn, experience. Don’t just read, absorb. Don’t just change, transform. Don’t just relate, advocate. Don’t just promise, prove. Don’t just criticize, encourage. Don’t just think, ponder. Don’t just take, give. Don’t just see, feel. Don’t just dream, do. Don’t just hear, listen. Don’t just talk, act. Don’t just tell, show. Don’t just exist, live.” ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Oh my word! I was challenged to continue to invest my energy in creating days that matter with the onset of Covid-19 and lockdown. Luckily I am quite optimistic by nature. (side note: I have come to realise being optimistic can be irritating and frustrating to those close to you .. you know who you are 🙂 and thank you for keeping me grounded)  With my optimism activated I went into over drive and made plans of how to turn obstacles into opportunities, how to view everything as a blessing, and the list goes on …  during my mission I realised it is easy to read quotes, it is easy to focus on others, it is easy to forget what really matters, to make excuses, especially when everything is uncertain.  I realised, that there is no way out, lockdown is here to stay and to have days that matter, I need to go within, I need to draw a line in the sand,  I need to be strict with myself, I need to set mental and emotional boundaries and respect them. I need to be realistic and on point!

Honestly, although my optimism has led me to thrive, I do feel the dip in energy and the need to slow down, so I am choosing to pause. I am grateful for the dip and don’t view the need as weak (something I used to do).

So, during this festive pause, I want to remain conscious that I (we) can choose to look for what matters and experience grace in the smallest moments.  I wish you days where what you do, think, and feel matters!  That you will come to truly understand that all of you (your ups, downs) matter!   That because of what mattered I was motivated to turn the don’t just, into need to , into choose to and I wish for you, not just a day, but a 2021 that matters!


Personally 2020 started on a high, I celebrated the adding of another decade, experiencing health and happiness. My values were stable long-lasting beliefs about what is important to me. They were the standards by which I added order to my life and my guiding principles in choices I made. As per my Enneagram style the Active Controller, all was set for a breeze through 2020. March, my world changed I was no longer in control, I could no longer protect those around me because we were in hard lockdown. What a learning curve, I was able to revisit, revaluate my beliefs and now I see the “world” differently and that on its own is refreshing and rewarding. 

My values and beliefs were tried and tested, choices I made were guided by different beliefs and I had to embrace the unknown and go with the flow. My wish is that you will embrace 2021 with energy and openness to test your beliefs and experience the reward of seeing life through a different lens.

May you, during the festive season, experience laughing with someone and realise halfway through how much you enjoy them and their existence. Sometimes, I forget to thank people who make my life happy in so many ways. So thank you, all of you, for just being part of my journey.

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I think most of you will agree that we have not previously experienced a year like 2020.  At the start, we were filled with a sense of excitement and wonder about the new decade and had plans we were looking forward to and goals we wanted to achieve.  No one could foresee what was going to play out.  It has been a challenging year – financially, emotionally, physically and for some even spiritually.  As the year draws to an end, I challenged myself to find the positives of the year and to focus on that.  It took some thinking, I will admit, however I am glad that I set myself the challenge. 

This is what I realised: we will come together when necessary; having a healthy relationship with yourself and others are very important; resilience is critical and that looking after your health is also key.  It was a time for reflection, for growth (sometimes uncomfortable growth) and I hope you take the time to celebrate your achievements (big or small) this year.
How will I be celebrating my achievements during 2020 – I think it’s safe to say that it will include a spa pamper with a glass (or three) of bubbles on the side or exploring the beautiful wine farms in the Western Cape.  Here’s to being brave in 2020!

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There is always a choice on what to focus on. The past year has had many effects out of which lessons and learnings can be extracted. As we come out of an adverse episode, take note of those key takeaways and let that be your guiding factor for the year to come. My personal takeaway of 2020 is that the future is inherently uncertain. As a result, I will try to live in the here and now and learn how to surf as we transition into the new year.

live it. love it. do it.
FAB Consulting