In my search to write about the next two agreements of The Four Agreements, I thought of spring and seasonal change as well as change in all spheres of life.

TRANSFORMATION – WHY?

Transformation is part of life, and nature and its seasons constantly remind us that this occurs naturally. The change of season is one of those phenomena that people take for granted. Although we know it happens, we don’t always stop to think about why we have seasons. The answer lies in the realm of astronomy and planetary science.

CHANGE OF SEASON

Carol McClelland (author of the Seasons of Change) shares when she was mourning her father’s death, she sat at a stop light and noticed that a tree that had been bare when her father died was suddenly in full blossom. She remembered saying to herself “I hope I blossom again too someday.” How apt.  We share this sentiment. Everyone had to deal with change during the last 18 months.   Not only due  to the pandemic, also due to general life stressors and daily strains. Carol shared that she has turned to nature for comfort,  support and answers. She began to wonder what she could learn about navigating times of change by simply watching how animals and plants respond to the change of season. She claims if we see change as a naturally occurring event – much like the change of seasons – then we can find answers, we can grow through life’s inevitable ups and downs, by moving through what we’re going through.

MOVING AND AGREEMENTS

Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements is about breaking free from negative patterns.  The agreements explain how society raises people to conform to a strict set of rules and how, with a little effort and commitment, we can set our own guidelines for life.

Agreement #2: Don’t take anything personally

Ruiz shares that all the agreements that we hold in our minds are based on beliefs we’ve consciously and subconsciously accepted. Together, they form our worldview. What other people say, what they do, and the opinions they share are according to these agreements, which means that nothing other people do or say is because of you—it’s because of them. Everything others say or do is simply a projection of their reality. It’s a reflection of how they think and see the world around them. They are seeing things from their point of view, which is an opinion that is not necessarily true. When we take things personally, we start overthinking and analysing, we create emotional suffering for ourselves. This takes unnecessary energy and does not lead to  finding answers.

Agreement #3: Don’t make assumptions

Consider the last time you reached out to someone, they read your message and didn’t reply. You assumed they were ignoring you. They simply forgot to reply to you. “We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking—we take it personally—and react by sending emotional poison with our word,” is how Ruiz describes it. The problem with making assumptions is that we end up believing that they are the only truth. It’s very interesting how the human mind works. Our brains are designed to keep us safe—that’s why we don’t do well in uncertainty. As Ruiz explains: “We have millions of questions that need answers because there are so many things that the reasoning mind cannot explain. It is not important if the answer is correct; just the answer itself makes us feel safe. That is why we make assumptions. If others tell us something, we make assumptions, and if they don’t tell us something, we make assumptions to fulfil our need to know. We make all sorts of assumptions because we need answers.” Asking takes courage and energy. It is much easier to make an assumption, instant gratification, however, the consequences are lasting and taxing.

WHAT NOW?

We can choose not to take things personally,  and thus not become the victim of needless suffering. Ruiz explains: “As you make a habit of not taking things personally, you won’t need to place your trust in what others do or say. You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you. When you truly understand this and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by careless comments or actions.”

Find the courage to ask questions – the solution to misunderstandings. Ask questions to eliminate any potential source of confusion.  Then listen , listen to understand not to justify or rationalise the assumption.  This doesn’t just apply to outward relationships, it also applies to your relationship with yourself: “We also make assumptions about ourselves, and this creates a lot of inner conflict”. You overestimate or underestimate yourself because you haven’t taken the time to ask yourself questions and to answer them.

SPRING ENERGY

Spring is about manifesting new beginnings. The energy is light and vibrant, bringing a sense of clarity and joy to the mind. Nature begins to bloom and the grey fields of winter get a makeover, turning green and colourful from the blossoming flowers. This is a period of transition, from the darker winter days to the bright spring energy. As nature begins to come to life, so do we.  Research shows that spring is a time when people shift careers, start new creative projects, end relationships and begin new friendships. Let’s support this energy, and follow in nature’s footsteps and take a fresh approach. How about an inner and outer makeover to facilitate our own blooming in finding answers free from assumptions and loaded with the opinions of others? “You playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightening about shrinking so others won’t feel insecure around you. As you let your own light shine, you indirectly give others permission to do the same.” – Marianne Williamson

Four simple reminders

  • Ask (don’t assume)
  • Respond (avoid reacting)
  • Reconsider (think about it)
  • Communicate (regularly).

Here’s to real answers – science, change of seasons, agreements, choices and courage!

live it. love it. do it.
FAB regards
Chrizelda & Team

By | 2021-11-18T13:57:23+02:00 Sep 9th, 2021|Monthly Vibes|Comments Off on Adjust | Thrive #SpringEnergy